Post your revised thesis (even if you received credit for it) and topic sentences.
Example:
Thesis: In the novel To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee argues not only that one should "love one's neighbor as one loves oneself," but that all humans are each others' neighbors.
TS 1: The literal neighbors in the Finch neighborhood treat each other with courtesy.
TS 2: Scout and Jem adopt Walter Cunningham as a neighbor.
TS 3: Calpurnia, Tom Robinson, and the entire black community of Maycomb are also neighbors of the Finches.
Thesis: Disillusionment forces people to become mature.
ReplyDeleteTS 1: Jem goes through a process of maturity throughout the book.
TS 2: Scout gets a glimpse of reality after Atticus shoots the rabid dog.
TS 3: Tom Robinson's death has a very heavy impact on the development of the little ones.
Your thesis is fine, but I would be more explicit when wording your topic sentences. Tell me what is disillusioning and how the characters mature. TS 1 is vague compared to TS 2 and 3.
DeleteTS1: Jem finds out that he should be more understanding through his experiences with Miss Dubose, therefore maturing a bit.
DeleteJem needed to go through his experience with Miss Dubose in order to mature.
DeleteThesis: In the novel To Kill a Mockingbird, Calpurnia loses her genuine identity as she acts inconsistently in different locations.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Calpurnia acts like a white person to assimilate the culture in Atticus Family.
TS2: Calpurnia acts like a black person to assimilate the culture in the church of black community.
TS3: Calpurnia acts like neither black person nor white person on the court.
I would revise TS3. I would argue that Calpurnia acts more like a black person, but more specifically, like a black servant (which allows her to enter a usually all-white environment).
DeleteTS3: However Calpurnia acts like a black servant to enter the court, where she does not want to fight against racism in all-white environment.
DeleteTS3: Calpurnia loses her identity by acting like a black servant in order to enter the court.
DeleteGood.
DeleteThesis: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee shows that society/community has a stronger influence than family.
ReplyDeleteTS1-Despite the fact that Calpurnia's family is full of African Americans, she changes her behavior to fit into the culture she is surrounded by, not the culture of her origin.
TS2-Although Atticus is not as racist as most of Maycomb's inhabitants, Scout still grows up with the idea that being a "nigger-lover" is a negative thing.
TS3-Boo Radley stays in his house not because his father wants him to stay, but because he is hiding from the community.
You have a good thesis, but some of your topic sentences need to be rephrased. Right now they are facts. For example, TS1 you could say, "Calpurnia's behavior is dictated more by her career than her home life" or "Calpurnia's identity as a housekeeper subsumes her identity as a mother."
DeleteThesis: Until today, America is far from the Utopia most people expect it to be, even with the court built by our Founding Fathers to support the minority (it has failed to meet its obligations) , America still lacks the freedom it is meant to express."
ReplyDeleteTS1: Despite the judges sympathy for the poor Thomas Robinson, he could not bring justice to the court due to the notorious name he will receive for doing so.
TS2: Though the constitution called for equal rights of all men, there is an empty word in there calling for all equal "white" men.
TS3: Apart for racism, there is also judgment based on superficial features of a person such as Boo-Radley.
Your thesis could be written clearer. In addition, you should introduce your topic (To Kill a Mockingbird).
DeleteTS2 is not related to the novel.
Think about why American is not a utopia.
Revised Thesis: America was destined to be a Utopia when it was created, but as seen in the case of Robinson and the disgusting treatment and judgment of "Boo" just displays how corrupt and in-moral the country actually is.
DeleteTS2: Though the constitution promises equality for all men, it is obvious that Boo Radley lacked that privilege as the rest of the town judged him for what he was perceived to be and not what he actually was.
Isn't this the same as TS3?
DeleteTS2: Through Atticus's trial it was clear that no matter how hard one's hope is, the American system is not better than any other.
DeleteNow TS2 is similar to TS1.
DeleteTS2: America is not a utopia because it lacks meritocracy or the ability to judge people by their potentials.
DeleteThat's not closely related to the novel.
DeleteTS2: America is not a Utopia because not every good deed is respected in the community and unfair conflicts are still inevitable.
DeleteThesis: In Harper Lee's novel "To Kill A Mockingbird", people often become judgemental in order to feel superior from others.
ReplyDeleteTS1: The judges made Thomas Robinson guilty, even thought that the proof was insufficient. They judged that Thomas was black, thus proofed him guilty to show their rankings as a judge.
TS2: The children called their black maid by her first name, Calpurnia, and their white neighbor's name with formality, Miss Maudie.
TS3: When they said "Nigger-talk", this is making the white race feel superior by judging on how black people talk.
Your thesis is fine, but your topic sentences need work. TS1 is fine, though it could be worded better (and it was the jurors that made the decision, not the judge). TS2 is a fact. TS3 seems fine.
Delete(As Ben Huang because my email is not working properly)
DeleteTS1: The jurors made Thomas Robinson guilty, even thought that the proof was insufficient. They judged that Thomas was black, thus proofed him guilty to show their rankings as a judge.
TS2:The children called their black maid by her first name, Calpurnia, and their white neighbor's name with formality, Miss Maudie. This shows how condescending the white people were to the African-Americans.
TS3:When they said "Nigger-talk", this is making the white race feel superior by judging on how black people talk.
nevermind. I just logged in for some reason.
DeleteYour topic sentences work, but could be better. TS1 can still be worded better. TS2, are you talking about the disrespect/infantalization of servants by employers in general? TS3 seems fine.
DeleteFor TS2 I meant that they only respect whites by only formally calling white people by their names. They do not call any Africa-Americans by their formal names. So that is a sign of disrespect.
DeleteThesis: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Calpurnia represents a role model that maintain her connection to the black culture rather than completely obeying to the white society. Harper Lee conveys the struggle between obedience to the majority and appreciation to one's own culture.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Calpurnia usually talks like an educated person, however, when she's angry, she talks with bad grammer.
TS2: When Calipurnia takes the children to her church, she behaves no different than the other African Americans.
TS3: Though Aunt Alexandra disgraces African American, Calpurniz is able to do everything so perfectly that Alexandra won't complain and keep her as a maid.
You can word your thesis more clearly. Why is Calpurnia a role model? Is it because she has a balance between the two cultures she inhabits?
DeleteYour topic sentences are facts. Please revise them.
Thesis: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Calpurnia represents a role model that balance her connection between two cultures-white and blacks. Harper Lee conveys the struggle between obedience to the majority and appreciation to one's own culture.
DeleteTS1: Calpurnia sometimes has to compromise herself to the white society's rule.
TS2: Calpurnia would accidently show some behaviors that reflect her originaly culture.
TS3: Unlike other African Americans, Calpurnia possess a higher social status.
Hi Rebecca,
DeleteTS1 is fine, but TS2 and 3 are facts.
TS2: Calpurnia likes her connection to her culture.
DeleteTS3: Calpurnia doens't care about the social status of anyone, including herself.
Thesis: In "To Kill a Mockingbird", Harper indirectly shows the reality of life, that life isn't fair.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Scout is wrongfully punished for being ahead of the class.
TS2: The race differences where black people are treated inferior to white people.
TS3: The author portrays Tom Robinson with a possibility to have been wrongfully convicted.
Hi Joseph,
DeleteThis thesis is not arguable. Your topic sentences are facts. Please come up with a more complex thesis. Think about why life isn't fair.
Thesis: Harper shows change is stifled because of the tradition which is disguised as manners.
DeleteInteresting thesis. Come up with topic sentences.
DeleteThesis: Harper shows how change is stifled in "To Kill a Mockingbird".
DeleteTS1: Manners are an important part of southern culture; however, in "To Kill a Mockingbird", the same manners that are a sign of respect, also stifle the growth of the community.
TS2: The belief that white men are inherently superior to colored men is also a tradition that has stunted growth.
TS3: The failure to think independently stifles the growth of the community, people are unable to correct their mistakes if they do not realize them first.
Good. Make sure your paper addresses all parts of your thesis (stifled change and tradition as manners).
DeleteThesis: Harper shows how culture stifles change in "To Kill a Mockingbird".
DeleteIn Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, we learned that one cannot judge a person from its appearance.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Atticus is actually a good shooter.
TS2: Although Tom Robinson is black, he didn't rape anyone.
TS3: Boo Radley is actually a nice guy.
Hi Alex,
DeleteYour thesis is not arguable. Your topic sentences are facts. Think about why judging people based on appearance is damaging.
In Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, we learned that one cannot judge a person from its appearance. People often falsely accused others for their appearance.
DeleteTS1: Atticus is more than just a well known lawyer
TS2: People accused Tom Robinson rape a girl just because he is black.
TS3: Boo Radley is actually a nice guy.
Your thesis is fine. I'm not sure where you're going with TS1 though.
DeleteThesis: The story To Kill a Mocking Bird shows that people grow mature through difficulties and sufferings.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Jem grew mature and became aware of adult's opinion through the court case that Atticus was in charge.
TS2: Scout have gained more mature perspective through the encounter of Bob Ewell and the biasd towns people.
TS3: Maycomb's citizens have become aware of the prejudiced court case and adopted different point of views.
Good thesis, but TS3 needs work. Did Maycomb experience difficulty? Did they really adopt a different point of view? I think you should be more specific.
DeleteThesis: The story To Kill A Mockingbird shows, people get discriminate against whenever they become different.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Scout get mistreatment because she knows how to read before school.
TS2: Boo Radley being isolated because of his unusual behavior.
TS3: Atticus got discriminated when he tries to defend Tom Robinson.
Hi Jingmin,
DeleteThis thesis is not arguable, Your topic sentences are facts. Think about why people are afraid of things that are different.
Thesis: People value the consequence of being different more than their true opinion.
DeleteTS1: The judges put Tom Robison into the jail because they are afraid to be judge by the townspeople
TS2: Calpurnia acts differently in different groups of people.
TS3: Mr. Dolphus Raymond pretend to be alcoholic to explain his action.
You have a good start to the thesis. Be sure to tell me the topic (the novel) and the statement (the "so what"--why is this important?)
DeleteTS1 is fine, but it is "jurors" not "judges"
For TS2, tell me what Calpurnia's true opinion is.
Thesis: In the story To Kill a Mockingbird, people value the consequence of being different more than their true opinion therefore they tend to hid their opinion.
DeleteTS1: The jurors put Tom Robison into the jail because they are afraid to be judge by the townspeople
TS2: Although comes from and appreciate her own culture, Calpurnia's actions usually don't reflect her culture.
TS3: Mr. Dolphus Raymond pretend to be alcoholic to explain his action.
Thesis: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee shows that passing down the same beliefs from generation to generation is bad.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Atticus's liberal influence on Jem and Scout makes them outcasts in the town.
TS2: Ewell's tradition dissuades its family from receiving proper education.
TS3: Some parents in the story teaching their kids about the inferiority of African Americans makes the kid disdain them without understanding.
Your topic sentences don't match. Passing down beliefs is bad for different reasons. Define "bad."
DeleteThesis: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee shows that family's influence on the kids is stronger than that of the society.
DeleteTS1: Atticus's liberal influence on Jem and Scout gives them a rather liberal ideology compared to that of people in Maycomb in general.
TS2: Ewell's tradition dissuades its family from receiving proper education despite the fact that primary education is compulsory.
TS3: Cunningham remains to practice his lifestyle despite the fact that his peers all seem to be having better living standards.
TS1 and TS2 seem fine. In TS3, I think the Cunninghams practice their lifestyle because they are impoverished and don't have a choice.
DeleteTS3: Mayella Ewell wouldn't search for help from the society to get away from physical and sexual abuses from her father demonstrates her father's influence is over the society's influence on her.
DeleteTS3: Mayella Ewell agrees to bring up a court case against Tom Robinson to protect her father despite the fact that her father's the one who beats her up.
DeleteGood.
DeleteThesis: In "To Kill a Mockingbird", people respect or value others more on races rather than their real characteristics.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Majority of people rather choose to believe Bob's words rather than Tom's.
TS2: People called Scout "nigger lover" since her dad is Tom's lawyer.
TS3: Instead of putting Tom back in jail, the guards shotted him.
Hi Candy,
DeleteThis thesis is still not arguable. I don't think anyone would disagree with you.
Think about the repercussions of looking at race over character.
Thesis: In "To Kill a Mockingbird", Harper Lee argues that people should value others more on their characteristics rather than their races or social status.
DeleteTS1: People should trust Tom's words since Bob has a bad reputation and his evidence didn't match.
TS2: Calpurnia strongly believed that social status doesn't really matter.
TS3: Atticus seem doesn't care that people calling him nigger lover.
Your thesis is still not arguable. Please change it.
DeleteTHESIS: Boo Radley, or Arthur Radley, redeemed his past violence and disturbance to the community by approaching the children as a playmate and a guardian angel.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Boo is a shut-in angel that are misunderstood to be a scary figure because of his reclusiveness
TS2: Boo begins contact with outside world thru the children, he sees the joyful children and tries to befriend with them.
TS3: A "mockingbird" hurt by the evils of the world, which is seen by Scout as an good example of the oppresion of evil
Your thesis is fine, but your first two topic sentences are facts (descriptions from the book) and your third one is not a sentence.
DeleteTell me how Boo Radley redeems himself. What is his relationship to Scout and Jem and how does it benefit them?
T1: Boo Radley tries to make up his past by beginning to approach the children
DeleteT2: For the children Boo is a scary figure that might swallow them whole, but as the story progresses they learn the true face of Boo Radley.
T3: Boo is one of the "mockingbird" of this story, a harmless person being butchered down by the evil of the world
Hi Tony,
DeleteYour first topic sentence is okay, but could be more specific. It basically repeats your thesis. Tell me one specific way he helped the children.
TS2 is still a fact.
TS3 could work, but it's not closely related to your thesis.
T1: Boo Radley tries to make up his past by beginning to approach the children and appeal to them.
DeleteT2: Boo resisted in the past in disagreement, now he tries to be coherent with the society.
T3: As the mockingbird of the story, he not only become friendly with Scout, but also gives her a lesson learn on innocent being harmed by the evil of the world.
T1 and T2 will be switched around
DeleteThesis: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus is a bad parent.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Atticus is a bad parent because he is a hypocrite who lets Boo Radely go.
TS2: Atticus is a bad parent because he neglected his kids and puts his job as a higher priority.
TS3: Atticus is a bad parent because he treats his kids like they are adults.
Be careful of the overlap between TS2 and TS3.
DeleteThesis: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee argues that children have a purer and unprejudiced way of looking at things than adults, and it is only until society corrupts them that they adopt these new views.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Scout and Jem never see black people as any different than themselves
TS2: The other kids are taught to call people racist names before they even know what they mean (francis)
TS3: Mayella looks past Tom's skin color and sees a nice person, until her father forces her to testify against him and tells her it is a disgrace to be with black people.
Be more specific in your thesis. What are "these new views"?
DeleteTS3 is not as strong, since Mayella is not exactly a child.
Thesis: In Harper Lee's 'To Kill a Mockingbird" Atticus did a good job teaching Scott and Jem as a single parent.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Atticus had to shoot the dog to teach Scott how to be not afraid.
TS2: Atticus taught Scott and Jem the topic of racism during the courtcase.
TS3: Atticus lets Scott and Jem to do things their way and explore the world (though theres not much to explore).
Your topic sentences don't support your thesis. While they have to do with being a parent, they don't have to do with being a single parent.
DeleteTS1 and 2, I don't think Atticus's main motivation for shooting the dog or taking the court case was to teach his children.
Thesis: In Harper Lee's 'To Kill a Mockingbird" Atticus did a good job teaching Scott and Jem as a single parent.
DeleteTS1: Atticus listens to both side of the argument.
TS2: Atticus spends time with his children and he reads to Scout.
TS3: Atticus teaches Jem and Scott but does not try to control them.
Better, but your topic sentences are facts. Make them into opinionated statements.
DeleteThesis: In "To Kill A Mocking Bird" Atticus demonstrated a different, yet successful method of parenting.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Even if Atticus had to demonstrate both roles in the household, he never lied to his children when they were curious
TS2: Instead of directly teaching his kids, Atticus let Scout and Jem to explore themselves and was granted independence.
TS3: Atticus still thought it was neccessary when he could not watch over his kids, to invite someone over and help him watch the kids the way he would if he were not so busy.
Your thesis is fine, but your topic sentences need work. TS 1 seems to have good content, but I don't understand the wording. For TS 3, I don't think that this would be considered a "different" method of parenting.
DeleteTS1: Atticus has acted as both parents to his children; he never forbid his children from being curious and responded with truth.
DeleteTS3: Atticus indirectly taught his children proper moral values through acting as a role model.
For TS1, I don't think you need to mention that Atticus acted as both parents to his children. It's not the main point.
DeleteFor TS3, although this is not unusual, you can make it work. Maybe transition from the previous paragraph by saying, "Although Atticus did not often give his children direct instruction, he taught his children proper moral values by acting as a role model."
Thesis: In Harper Lee's 'To Kill a Mockingbird' it argues that one tend to judge from first glances because they don't understand from others' perspective.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Scott disliked Ms. Caroline because she 'knowingly' degraded Walter by giving him lunch money.
TS2: The towns people have prejudice towards Boo Radley because of rumors and he's isolated.
TS3: Aunt Alexandra disliked Calpurnia because she was colored, despite Calpurnia's loyalty to the Finch family.
While your thesis is arguable, it is not complex enough to be an honors thesis. If you choose to write this paper, I will not give you a grade higher than a B.
DeleteThesis: In Harper Lee's 'To Kill a Mockingbird' it shows that it isn't always beneficial to become mature.
DeleteTS1: By realizing the reality of the court case decision, Scout was disappointed in the injustice of it.
TS2: The reason why Aunt Alexandra kept her mouth shut about certain news were to protect others.
TS3: After Scout's realization to why Boo Radley stays isolated, it's concluded that it's better to stay 'innocent'.
Although all of your topic sentences are arguable, you should tie them in more closely to your thesis. How are the characters mature (or not)? How are the suffering from it?
DeleteThesis: In Harper Lee's 'To Kill a Mockingbird' it shows that it isn't always beneficial to become mature.
DeleteTS1: The reality of the adult's decision on the court case disappointed Scout because its 'truth' was unjust.
TS2: Scout learned that Aunt Alexandra purposely avoided topics in which the news may hurt or defame another as a step towards maturity.
TS3: After knowing why Boo Radley stays isolated, Scout concluded that it's better to stay 'innocent' rather than understanding everything.
Thesis: Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird" suggests that people are born with a sense of right and wrong despite the less moral actions they sometimes undertake.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Boo (Arthur) Radley might have gone to jail and killed Bob Ewell, but he turned out to be a person of good nature and did the murder to protect Scout.
TS2: At the prison door, Scout was able to talk Mr. Walter Cunningham into reason even though he was with an angry mob.
TS3: When Miss Maudie's house caught on fire, almost all of the neighbors attempted to help her.
I think you are trying to say in your thesis that people are inherently good. Your topic sentences are facts. Please revise them so that they are opinionated statements.
DeleteThesis: Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird" suggests that people are inherently good despite their actions.
DeleteHi Catrina,
DeleteYour topic sentences are still facts.
TS1: Boo Radley committed the murder of Bob Ewell out of good intentions.
DeleteTS2: Walter Cunningham was merely blinded by emotion when he wanted to hurt Atticus.
TS3: The residents of Maycomb had a strong sense of community,
Thesis: In To Kill a Mocking Bird, we learn how Scout fought the society for her innocence.
ReplyDeleteTS1: Scout fought her teacher for her ability to read.
TS2: Scout fought her innocence when her father fought for a "black" man.
TS3: Lastly, she won her innocence while growing up with Boo Radley saved her and her brother.
Hi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteYou're going to have to define "innocence" and explain why it is positive. For TS1, I'm not sure how Scout fought for her innocence with her teacher. For TS3, I'm not sure how Scout preserved her innocence either. Also, in that case she did not fight for it herself.